What’s a BDSM session like?

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What’s a BDSM session like?

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I’m always curious what goes through peoples heads when they come and visit me, so I was delighted when a lovely man I sessioned with recently emailed me his thoughts. He was frustrated that he could not speak about the session to anyone, so framed his thoughts as a conversation at the pub. With kind permission I am publishing it here. I thought his view on the dynamics of a session were spot on, and hearing about his experience might be helpful if you’re feeling a bit nervous about your first time. I’m very pleased to share this, I try to make the words on my website as true a reflection of who I am and what I do as possible, but someone else’s view is invaluable.
Claire,

Many thanks for a great first session, which I have since found very frustrating as I was on a 10 mile walk
round London with the lads and there was no way I was going to tell them about it .So I
had an imaginary conversation in my head and put it to paper when I got back – hope you like it –

John

J “I have ordered you a beer if that’s ok.”

A “That will be great. So what did you do this afternoon?”

J “I went to Stratford to see a pro domme”

A “You mean a mistress?

J “I think Claire could be many things to many people but for me she was a Pro Domme , I think a
Dominatrix and a Submissive have a much more balanced relationship than a mistress and her pet.

A “What do you mean?”

J “It’s a bit like a penny, there is a head and a tail and the penny will spin on a table for quite a long
time as the penny is balanced. Likewise the head (Top) and the tail ( bottom) need to be in balance,
the more the pain threshold of the bottom, (me) is balanced by the pain given by the Top (Claire)
then there is balance and we get a good session.

A “Is that all?”

J “Not really, for there is the current pain threshold of the bottom and the potential pain threshold,
This is where the expertise of the Top is crucial in striking the right balance of pain so gradually
reaching that potential. The Top is slightly heavier than the bottom, with the bottom adapting to
reach the heavier weight, if the top is too heavy there is the safe word which brings the top down
towards the bottom and so restores the balance again. Each session thus getting nearer and nearer
until the limits are found.

A “So what were your first impressions”

J “First reaction was relief at actually getting there as it was my first time and I was very nervous.
I hung my coat up and then Claire asked if I wanted a cup of tea, so putting off the inevitable I said
yes. While she made tea I had a look round. There was a bedroom which I didn’t go in, the kitchen
where Claire was, and the lounge which had a St Andrews Cross and a kneeling bench. Assorted
instruments were hanging on hooks on the wall.

As the session progressed I found the facilities were more than adequate. Claire does say on her
web site that additional facilities can be hired, but that to me would be worse as it would lose that
that very intimate feel you get, and actually the surrounding seem to disappear with Claire in the
room as she has such a presence.

A “What was the best bit?”

The best bit was Claire herself. Much better looking than her photos and with a sensuous magnetism
that I find difficult to get out of my head. She was articulate intelligent and I had a feeling that
she genuinely cared. It is important to me that the enjoyment works both ways; I don’t want to go
somewhere where it is just a job to them.

A “What was the worst bit?”

Not sure there was a worst bit.

Probably the two hour session seemed to end far too soon, but as it was the first time we did spend
time at the beginning talking and setting up the music which shouldn’t be as long next time. It
would also be nice if there was a mirror so that I could watch her in action some of the time.

A “So what was the music like?”

I provided the music so it was ok as far as I was concerned, not sure what Claire thought
about it, although she did say it was nice to have a change. Some of my assumption as to what
would happen where did not materialise but Claire had already said session were difficult to plan.
I think next time I might look at having a general selection of music so the session can be more
flexible, but this does miss out on some tracks which just lend themselves to a particular action
but that in itself can destroy the spontaneity of the session if you know what is coming up. One of
the positive long term effects of having music is that when I hear some of the tracks again I am
immersed back in the session again and I will always associate some songs for ever with that
afternoon.

A “So you plan on going again?”

J “Before I went I had already thought about going back again if I enjoyed the session and bearing in
mind my finances thought about every nine months would be manageable. Since the session I want
to go back much sooner and will try and get back within three months or sooner if I can manage it,
and then try and go about three or four times a year, well that’s if she’ll have me.

A “So what did she do to you?”

J “ what stands out is having my nipples put in clamps which is very painful, I was fastened on the St
Andrews cross, and when Claire came to take the clamps off, she came in really close lent against
me and SMILED as she pulled them off . owwwww.

Other than that I was tied up, tied down, beaten with floggers , canes , and paddles , listened to
some great music and had two cups of tea , and thoroughly enjoyed myself,

A “So what was your overall impression?”

J “Overall I thought it was a great first session. I think I could take more pain, in fact I want to take
more pain to try and find my limits, but that has to be within the constraint of no marks, but I intend
to amend that to unless they are below the waist and above the thighs, which should give Claire
more options, I do want to get to the red button.

I have off and on through the last few years trawled through numerous web sites looking for a
someone to explore my fantasies with and I am so thankful that I waited and found Claire. I find it
difficult to explain but it just feels right. I do feel safe, I do feel wanted, I do trust her absolutely, I do
want to go again, I do want to be stretched I do want to cry and knock down some walls.

A “As afternoons go the was certainly different.. It’s my round same again?“

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3 Comments on "What’s a BDSM session like?"

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Mark
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Thanks for sharing this and also to John for writing it. I know not ever session would be the same: but I am interested in hearing what other people think about their sessions with you are, as I was when I read about the Beatdown session. Maybe you could have a section on this website just for session reviews.

Mark
Guest

Thanks for sharing this and also to John for writing it. I know not ever session would be the same: but I am interested in hearing what other people think about their sessions with you are like, as I was when I read about the Beatdown session. Maybe you could have a section on this website just for session reviews.

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