So how did you get into all this kinky BDSM stuff?

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So how did you get into all this kinky BDSM stuff?

London Mistress Claire Black playfully Kicks a pathetic slave with her shiny Dr Marten boots

When I was just discovering orgasms I remember one night was particularly incredible. I looked at my wondrous fingers afterwards and realised they were covered in blood, not menstrual blood. This turned me on more.

My first experience of penetrative sex was entirely unsatisfying. Sex seemed like such a big deal for so many people I was certain there had to be more than the quick fumble I’d experienced, so at 14 I went on a mission to find better sex. I quickly realised I liked variety, I liked it rough, I liked exploring dark fantasies, I liked the thrill of fucking new partners.

I was lucky to grow up when the internet was just starting to blossom, so I had access to all kinds of deviant porn, information and forums on all kinds of perversion. I could see that other people had desires similar and complimentary to mine and I explored these through msn messenger. I chatted with strangers all over the world, exploring (mostly submissive) fantasies when cyber sex was still new and exciting. Tying myself up, obediently eating what I was told, hurting myself, orgasming on demand. All quietly in my bedroom hoping my parents wouldn’t come upstairs.

Back in 2003 age 18

Back in 2003 age 18

Fast forward a couple of years I was 16, maybe 17, and I met another kinky person in the flesh! There was no sexual connection between us, but he was the first person who was into doing intimate things with his body that went further than rough sex. Neither of us knew what we were doing, but he knew he was submissive, and I knew I was submissive. We argued hard and eventually he won, he was more submissive, I would try to figure out how to dominate him. For months we had a close relationship trying all kinds of things. I learned a lot from my mistakes back then, we were lucky to both get out of that one undamaged!

I continued dabbling in kink as a switch wherever I could find it, and I tried it all: role play, breath play, chastity play, rape play, piss play, puppy play, wax play. I learned how things that I’ve come to specialise in now feel from both sides: impact play, orgasm control, nipple torture, play piercing, punching, fear play. I tried out every sensation I could imagine, wax, ice, scratching, beating, stretching, fur, feathers, cutting… And I began to wrap my head around the intricacies of domination and submission. It all came naturally to me and I just couldn’t get enough of it.

I did fantasise about being a Dominatrix, but could not imagine how a shy, insecure little Scottish girl like me could ever be so confident, assured and glamorous. Of course that would never happen – it was unthinkable!

In uni I met someone whose girlfriend worked as a Spanking Girl. The notion of getting paid well to be spanked (which I enjoyed) was irresistible to me as a student working two shitty jobs, so I quickly got started. It was such a sweet and quaint scene up in Scotland, a lovely, protective, nurturing environment to begin my adventures in sex work. In those days I learned how to structure a session, how to connect with a stranger, I began getting a sense of what my boundaries were, and most importantly, how take and give a good caning!

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Photo Shoot as a Spanking Girl

I heard that the spanking scene in London was more competitive and hard so when I moved down I decided not to pursue my budding Spankee career. Being spanked had been fun, and I was a masochist, but not that much of a masochist. And I never really took to the roleplay aspect that seemed so integral to it. There was a lot of pretending to be a naughty school girl or secretary and I was more interested in just being myself and exploring kink for the pure joy of it Instead I worked crappy admin jobs for a few years, hating every second.

Then my good friend London Faerie started pursuing his dream to open a sex-positive, kink-positive space and call it Sacred Pleasures. I was quite an experienced pervert by this time with a good collection of BDSM toys, I (thanks to Faerie and The Pot – his venue) had access to a space with basic dungeon equipment, and importantly, I was completely broke. It was pretty obvious what had to happen: I put out an ad on AdultWork, and took my first booking as a professional dominatrix.

Now, I’m a naturally introverted person, and back then was extremely shy, insecure, depressed, and frankly scared of just about everything. I had to do some work on myself in order to be able to promote myself as someone desirable, to be able to meet a stranger and instantly put them at ease, then craft a unique intimate experience for them where I am in control of everything. It was a chance for me to become the strongest, most capable version of myself. To deal with the insecurities and depression that had run my life so far and to find my own power, I had to figure out who I was in the world, what I wanted and didn’t want.

Work as a professional dominant started slow but over time I built up a list of lovely men I met with regularly. Gradually, session work alone became enough to support me financially. I shared venues with London Faerie for about 4 years until our priorities diverged; he wanted more of an open light workshop space and I wanted more of a dark intimate sexy space. So, in early 2015 I opened my own private playspace in Finsbury Park.

Now I am exclusively dominant in my work (well, with the very very occasional exception). In my private life I still switch, although I bottom/sub more since my toppy needs are mostly met in work. And I have really fantastic sex! The mission that started 16 years ago was a success.

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