Ecstasy in Agony

Money money money

Claire — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:34:15 +0000

Recently I have had a lot of offers from people wanting to be my slave, and a lot of people complaining that I am too expensive in this ‘economic climate’. There are superficial reasons I charge the amount that I do. I am in the same region as most pro-dommes, I think to charge much less would throw questions over my skill levels (Why is she cheaper, she must not be as good?). I may only see you for an hour or two, but also consider there is time spent setting up for our session, negotiating our session, and the time I have spent working on my website so you can read if we might be suitable, the time spent doing SEO and advertising so you could find me, the time and money spent learning the skills I use on you, the money I spend on toys and outfits for our sessions, the cost of the dungeon and probably plenty of other things besides. All of these into account, I am not unreasonable. But these are all superficial and subject to much negotiation and opinion. The most important reason is below.

Because my time and services can be bought by a wide range of people I need to keep my boundaries firmly intact, otherwise I lose my sense of me.

The differentiating factor between personal and professional interactions is financial exchange. In a professional relationship I am paid in cash, in a personal one I am not. I need this boundary to stay clear. There are things I will do with lovers and not clients (sex for example), but some lovers I don’t have sex with, so that is not a good all encompassing boundary.

In personal relationships I have very few boundaries, so I need to know the person I am with can hold this. By that I mean they see the messy parts, the indecisive and insecure (yes, everyone has them). In a personal relationship I give my lover a lot of trust and power over me in many ways, even if I am still dominant. As a result of this, lovers can deeply hurt me. I can’t make myself that available to everybody I encounter, so I need to keep very clear on the difference between lovers and clients. I need to keep a clear boundary, and for me that defining boundary is payment.

This is why I insist on charging money. This is why offers to be my slave without any expectation of financial balancing will not be accepted, because I need that boundary to be kept clear.

Singletail Whips with DK Leather

Claire — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 20:56:28 +0000

Last weekend I had the pleasure and honour of learning how to wield a singletail whip with the magnificent DK Leather and his wyfe Lu leatherEagle at their Plug n Play workshop at Sacred Pleasures. It was quite the experience and I can now officially say I LOVE singletail whips.

Before I use any toy on another body I always want to know what it feels like on mine first, and as i’ve never experienced the kiss of a singletail before I volunteered to be the demo bunny. I expected it would be intense, but I did not expect a 10 minute scene culminating in blows that burst my skin open and made me bleed! Just look at my back there on the right.

The harder hits felt sharp, a bit like needles but more shocking and abrupt, not all together unpleasant. Just intense, fucking intense without much of a warmup to speak of. Afterwards I was so high from the adrenaline, endorphins and oxytocin that I had to be lead over to a soft area and given blankets, biscuits and juice. Within 20 mins or so I was back in the room, just in time to pay attention to the detailed descriptions Lu Leathereagle was giving to the various whips on display.

I learned that there are more different types of whip than I could possibly remember, what to look for in a well made whip, the effects of different materials and lengths, safety precautions and all kinds of technical stuff that just left my geeky mind desperate to get online and find out more.

I also had practical lessons in using a couple of different single tail whips, and was really getting the hang of the two strokes I was taught, Dog tailing and Rats tailing. I even managed to hit a row of 8 little squares of tissue paper first time, which I was terribly pleased about (and gutted there was no’one else in the room at the time to see it). Now I just need a whip to practice with, then a body to practice on…

Shibari with Santi

Claire — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 11:33:10 +0000

I was taught Shibari, the art of Japanese rope bondage, by a wonderful man called Santi. In March he is coming to Sacred Pleasures in London to teach a beginners workshop in Shibari followed by Intermediate Shibari exploration. I’m very excited to be producing and hosting these, they’re always super fun, light hearted and informative. And yes, that tummy to the right of the page does belong to me.

:: Find out more ::

I’m co-teaching Pleasure Portals – an intro to concious sexuality

Claire — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 17:53:37 +0000

Tuesday evenings through March in Covent Garden

As well as hurting people I also teach people how to hurt each other, amongst other things. The next time I do this will be with the unique London Faerie and the delicious Rebecca Lowrie, in a course that combines BDSM with Tantra and concious touch.

Pleasure Portals is a series of short taster workshops that bring together different aspects of sexuality in short bite sized chunks. It’s for anyone who is curious about opening up their sexuality and integrating different aspects. Check out Sacred Pleasures website to find out more.

::Find out more::